Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
