I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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