She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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