It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize