we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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