On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
