he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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