Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
