I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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