i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
