I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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