Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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