When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
