If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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