We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
