Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
