Small penises have feelings too.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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