Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
4 words: hood of his car
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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