is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
