Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
