How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
