i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
