idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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