All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
what day is it and did you see me today?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
