brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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