I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
