let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
