oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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