I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
