In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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