They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Less talking, more tequila
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
