I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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