I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize