You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
