i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
