you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
