I skipped work to stalk him.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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