k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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