Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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