1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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