I'm drive I can fine osifer
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
