I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize