She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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