I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
