we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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