do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You can't motorboat a personality
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
