where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
