There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
