Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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