My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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