I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
