I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
And then he peed in my hair
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