i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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