he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Randomize
