How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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