evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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