if you like me you must not know who I am
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize