I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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