I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I forget how to act sober
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