I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
