Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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