like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
