At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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