it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
