After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
