I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
